A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. 

A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themself (and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with their foot!)

A simple friend has never seen you cry.

A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. 

A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of soda to your party.

A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.

A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. 

A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. 

A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.

A real friend expects to always be there for you!